What the hell was I thinking

Had a great reason to stop, heart attack, stint and grand kids, did I?

Hell no - I'm 12 ft tall and bullet proof, just ask me!

It's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to give up, wish I could go back 33 years and "jethro" myself in the head, looked into the future, realized how much it would cost both in dollars and health.

Why is it that as smokers we tell our kids and anyone that we see that picks up a cigarette that it's the biggest mistake they are making in their lives, but we don't listen to ourselves?

• How much have I spent over 33 years on cologne and gum
• How much have I spent over 33 years just to satisfly this stupid urge
• How much have I spent over 33 years to clean out my car and my clothes
• What's the impact on my kids and grand kids

This would have been so much easier if I had said in July of 2007 after my heart attack "this is it" Did I listen to the doctors, the nurses or myself?

I'm not a overly addictive person, but this is one thing that I've decided, or convinced myself that it's ok to keep doing. I know it's harmful, I can feel it every time I climb a set of stairs, walk at a fast pace, cut the grass, pick up around the Ponderosa, play with the grand kids, move furniture or for that matter do anything physical.

Coughing, sniffing, can't catch my breath and sucking wind.

I had a chance 3 years ago, told myself that cutting back to 2 packs a day was a good thing, I burn most of them up in the ashtray or any excuse to tell myself that it's ok to smoke.

That's one of the things us smokers do, we tell ourselves we love it, we need it, we will go out of our way to smoke outdoors just to combat the smoking ban, we'll cuss the non smokers under our breath for taking away our rights all the while coughing and wheezing just to make a point.

Does it make sense? NO
Does it look glamorous? NO
Do we really enjoy it? NO
Do we want to stop? YES
Is it easy? NO

So, if you see a smoker out there that tells you they enjoy smoking, they like the taste of a cigarette or it's not hurting anyone but themselves, you have my permission to pull out your BS card.

I've taken the first step, it's the next step that's the most difficult.

Am I doing it for anyone? I should be, but mostly I'm doing it for myself........this is the one time I'm not a team player...................