It was a Tuesday morning two years, eleven months, twenty-nine days, twenty-four hours ago.
Frozen in time when our world stopped, not really stopped I guess, but a chapter ended, a little girl lost a father, four boys lost their uncle, he would never meet a nephew that would be born thirteen days later a mother lost her son and me the dad? I lost my mini me.
Yesterday's ladybug that landed helped, I believe that the thunder the past couple of days was Nic and his gang of friends on their wicked ass heavenly motorcyles was a sign that he's still around but it's still not any easier, and it's not any softer.
Today we'll celebrate the life of a kid that was taken entirely too soon and I'll remember and think about a family that lost their dad, husband and son as well on May 28th 2013 at 7:30 am. Two families lives that were changed forever.
So, like I said three years ago,,,,,love your kids, really let them know you love them and don't let them leave your sight without making sure they really really know it....create memories that will last your lifetime you never know when you may need to share them with others.
I'm sure I've posted these at some time in the past but it still makes me wonder what he knew leading up to that day, photos he took just a couple days before, filling out his donor card a month before, and dancing with his daughter to that Simple Minds Song in the garage at his sisters house the day before and comments he made to his mom about never seeing thirty fills me with wonder, joy and sad all at the same time.
I can still see his face when we were at Morts a couple of weeks before, I can still see the post on facebook when I found out about the accident, I can see the car at the lot when I went and cleaned it out but the things I want to see the most is his face and that evil grin he had. So, I'll continue to look at the 987 pictures I have on my computer, I'll be reminded of him every time I look at the lock screen on my phone, computer and IPad and I'll remember..............
Last's
It was a day of last's and I have no clue what that last day involved.
Things I'll never know,,,,
Did he have a good day
Did he think about his precious daughter throughout the day and all the fun he had the day before
What did he have for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Did he have a snack late at night
What clothes did he wear that last day
What did he talk about and who did he talk to
I know I thought of him that last day
I wish I had at least texted him and told him I loved him
I hope he knew
There are a ton of things I have no clue about, how he spent his last day, his last couple of days, what he was thinking. I know this, I loved him, he loved his daughter more than anything, he loved his mom and sisters a ton and those nephews of his, well he was their hero, the guy that played with them, the one that rough housed with them, the Lego builder the kid on the bike with them and the best uncle they could ever have asked for.
I wonder if they miss him or were they to young to really have Nic full on, his quirks, his smile, do they remember his voice (I know I do and I've saved his voice mail message so I never forget) some have told me we sounded alike on the phone even, can they remember what he looked like without seeing a picture of him, do they remember all of the good times?
I know I do and I still remember a few of the bad times we had, but looking back on them now they make me smile and a few of them make me laugh. (If you ever want to hear the story of me chasing him up the stairs and him running out on the lawn and calling the cops just let me know)
Today is the third anniversary of his last night on this earth and I'm mad, sad and at times still pissed off that I don't know what his last day involved.
Nic took this selfie 2 days before......
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