I'm Just Sayin: December 2010

What is your resolution?

Do you make them
Have you made yours
Are you going to make one
Do you keep them

I've made them, forgot them and broke them, what's going to make it different this year?

Mine have always been things I'm "NOT" going to do anymore, why set it up to fail, it's like it's always taking something away, stopping something or making something end that apparently I became, enjoyed or just became habit.

This year I resolve to do just one thing

I resolve to complete one resolution and then make another resolution throughout the year

“Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else.”

- Leonardo Da Vinci

Where did the time go?

I was one of the most organized guys in the world, but
2010 was the most disorganized year I can remember, what went wrong?

I started relying more on outlook than Franklin
I started making notes on tablets and not with Franklin
I stopped using file folders
I let "other things" interrupt my plans for the day
My office became cluttered
I have 6 email accounts on my blackberry
I lost focus

While I love technology and all that it does to simplify my life, I welcome you back to my world Franklin.

Now excuse me while I eliminate a few email accounts and friends

My question of the day.........

Them: "If you could have any job in the world what would it be"
Me: "A sales and management position"
Them: "You didn't understand the question, if you could do anything in the world"
Me: "I'm going to have to think about and answer"

I've done my homework.
I've given it some serious thought.
I've sat in silence for a short time.

Survey says..........

It involves helping out where I can
It involves making a difference
It involves meeting new people
It involves travel
It involves being my own "guy"
It involves having fun
It involves a motorcycle
It involves variety

Wait a minute, the perfect job is right under my nose, I've been there done that.

Time to do it again.

Have you ever thought..........

My Life. Today. My job. This year.

Sucks!

I've been known to say those things on more than one occasion

I have the luxury of one of those jobs where I'm not tied to a desk, not stuck in a building all day long, it can be a curse and a blessing at the same time. I'm out meeting people all day long, I spend a lot of time in my mobile office which gives me time to think, be alone, be rejected, be successful, get depressed and become excited all in the same day.

It also gives me the opportunity to see people that are "less fortunate" that I am, ones that have been dealt a bad hand, have made poor choices, were never given the opportunity, or never acted on a opportunity that was presented to them.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was sitting in the car when a guy walking down the sidewalk waved a couple of times, walked past and then came back and asked if I could spare some change. It wasn't much, maybe a buck-fiddy that I pulled from the center concul but to him it appeared to be a cup of coffee, a hamburger, the start of a bottle or a beer, who knows and honestly I didn't care.

I felt good about it, I helped someone and he and I were both happy.
Really, that's all that mattered at that moment.

I'm blessed really,
life doesn't suck, the year didn't suck,
yesterday didn't suck, my job doesn't suck

I've never not had a roof over my head
I've never not had the resources to make a living
I've never not been surrounded by family on the holidays
I've never not had some amazing friends
I've never not gone without food

All of a sudden the sucking sound has stopped.

How was your day?

Time to change?

Negatives need to go away and be replaced with

I can's
I will's
I am's

We get hung up in the negatives in our lives, there are so few of them yet the consume us, they take over, and they start replacing all the "positives" that are going on in us and around us.

Ever had something great happen and replaced it with negatives within a short time?

Yea, never happens to me either.

On a brighter note, we're all in control of what we put into our lives and what we choose to eliminate from our lives. It's not easy, and if it were everyone would do it, and we'd all be happy as clams.

Nothing to see here folks

No really, for once in my life I have nothing to say

Always have, Always Will

So many meanings, but today I'm going to talk about Christmas...........

This has always been my favorite holiday, when I was a kid it meant opening presents, spending time with the family, dancing in the garage, that new sled, bike, GI Joe, Matchbox Car, Race Car Track, Train and then the Stockings on Christmas morning.

After the kids were hatched it included setting up the tree, re-creating Clark Grisswalds house, watching the kids open their presents, hanging out with the family and the in-laws.

Now the kids have kids and it get's even better, the innocence in their eyes, no worries about the economy, world peace, who got robbed overnight, what celebrity is with what celebrity, who's on what reality TV show or the stress of day to day life.

All they have to do is make it through the day without getting in trouble, build a few Lego toys, watch Sponge Bob, say please, thank you and yes, play nice with their brothers or cousins, learn to share and sometimes even clean up their rooms, but right now the only thing on their mind is,

"When do we open the presents Papa?"

Watching them wait with anticipation
Watching the excitement building
Watching their eyes when they rip open the presents
Watching them attempt to play with each and every item

I don't know about you, but it takes me back to a simpler time, back to the days of not worrying about all the things that don't really matter,

Take time out of your busy life today to remember what it was like and do your best to be that child again

The year that is........

Notice I said "IS" and not "WAS"

It's been a year alright, not the year I expected, anticipated or particularly enjoyed, but it is what it was.

Oh sure there were a ton and I do mean a ton of great things that happened throughout the year, but there were a ton of not so great things as well.

While I could turn this into a rambling blog that went on and on and on for over 1044 words about what sucked and what didn't suck, what's the point?

We all have our own take on what made 2010 either a great, good, so-so, not so great to it just plain sucked and bring on 2011.

Sucked -vs- Not Sucked

My list is long on both, but at the end of the day, the not sucked will always triumph

Should'a. Would'a. Could'a.

"Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor".............Alicia Keys

Things you wish you'd said
Things you wish you'd not said
Things you wish you'd done
Things you wish you'd not done

We've all got em, they make up who we are, my list is long. The real question is what did I learn?

Recently I had my eyes opened, or maybe I just opened them to the world around me, the people around me, my environment, and realized I wasn't operating on all cylinders. Something wasn't right, was it the season, the lack of drive, the sense of desperation, the need to succeed, the feel sorry for myself, the too many irons in the fire or did "its all about me" finally catch up.

Personally, I think it's a little bit of all of the above, but mostly, I think it's "just me"

I'm a creature of habit, I wake up at the same time each day, I start the day off by firing up the computer, grabbing a cigarette, making a pot of coffee, checking my email, firing up the web, pouring that first cup of coffee, smoking another cigarette while checking that list of blogs, facebook, kansas.com, smoking a few more cigarettes, then hitting the shower and heading out the door.

My grand pappy said (well he said a bunch of thing's)

Don't let your ass overload your mouth
Engage your brain before you engage your mouth
Don't let your motorboat mouth run over your rowboat brain

They say it takes 21 days to change a habit. Day 1 started already.

Do as I say, not as I do

Ever had one of those days when you go from;

excited ~ WTF ~ excited ~nervous ~ amazed ~ stoked ~ even more stoked ~ appreciative ~ amazed ~ can't wait ~ happy ~wonder ~bummed ~ blah?

Yea, me either. Oh wait there was this one time............

And it wasn't that long ago, it started with being pretty pumped about a opportunity that was presented to me and quickly went to WTF was that comment?

Fast forward to getting excited once again, being totally fricken pumped and not being able to wait to share it, learning that you just happen to to do something that was just a stroke of fate that got you in the door in the first place, celebrate with a drink in a happy place only to have it all go away.

I'm sometimes my own enemy, I over think, I over think, I over think, (did I mention I over think?) I play it out all the way to the end in my own head and sometimes well most of the time I get the result that I know I'll get.

Did I over think it to the point of shutting out all the things that could have been, could be, should have been?

I blame it on playing out business scenarios in my head for the past twenty-some years, if I present this and they say this I'm going to counter with this, if they balk at the price I'm going to counter with this reason, if they change the message I'm going to counter with this. I've always told employees, co-workers and sales staff that they need to "check it at the door"

It might just be the time to start taking my own advice.

Winding down

5 days of shopping left until the fat man makes his trip and we've barely started.

This year we're reducing out gift giving and mainly concentrating on the little guys and gal, I remember when watching our own kids open presents was the best gift of all on Christmas Eve, they couldn't tear into them fast enough and the excitement of what's in that box was electrifying.

Little did they know at that time the hours we spent driving from this store to that one, walking the aisles, fighting the crowds, making sure each one had a equal number of gifts to open, standing in line and wrapping the presents for about 20 minutes of un-wrapping.

A lot has changed since then, kids have grown, kids have moved away, kids have moved back and moved away again and now the kids have kids.

Other changes from those day's have taken place as well, the economy has gone to hell in a handbag, there are movies about Santa falling off a roof and being replaced by Tim the Tool man, Santa being sabotaged by Jack Frost, Santa being a Bad Santa, some guy becoming a snowman, remakes of great classics that will never become great classics and now a bunch of dogs helping Santa out?

WTH? What happened to the ones when I was a kid? What happened to Burl Ives being a snowman, Rudolph's red nose, Charlie Brown, and the cartoon Grinch? And...............

What happened to celebrating the real meaning of Christmas?

Life gets in the way sometimes

I've always been the fixer, the go to guy, the one that can't say no, and it gets in the way of my own life sometimes.

Over the past few months I've learned that I can't fix everything, that I can't be the one that does everything for everyone that stops me on the street, the bar, through a email or on the phone.

I'm beginning to realize that while I'm fixing everything in sight I'm loosing sight of fixing things in my own life, so starting today I promise you that I will continue to give out "free advice" tell you where you can find the answer, point you in the right direction, tell you who the "go to" guy is and yes at times I'll still do all the work, but.........I'm going to learn to say no.

Good -vs- Bad

We all have them, good ones and bad ones (days that is)

Lately my bad ones are out numbering the good ones (just my opinion though) I know they are all good days, but the little bumps of "bad" take over and that's the part I remember.

All it took was a phone call, schedule a time and it went from a so-so day to a great day, nothing was going to take it away. A couple of "not right now", "no we're going to cancel", "he's not in", that gal that pulled in front of me and gave me a dirty look, the letter saying thanks but no thanks when I got home?

Nope, no way, not a chance, none of it phased me, this "good" thing was going to have to get beat up pretty good to turn into a bad.

It seemed to be going my way yesterday.

A great lunch
The vaccum had tons of power for once
The coffee at the post was just right
Cha Cha made time in her schedule for me
I snorted at least 5 times and even made myself snort
The newsletter was going out two days earlier then I'd planned
That one guy that said he wasn't interested actually increased his ad size and rate
I actually got pampered and it didn't include diapers
The water was the perfect temperature for hand washing
My fingernails looked great
There was just enough ice in the glass

All in all, I was having the perfect hair day

Now I can't remember what my horoscope, fortune cookie or God said yesterday, so I'll chalk the good day up to my "lucky pen"

I prefer the good ones.

And so it begins

I'm going to be sharing my life on a totally separate blog - my journey to becoming a non-smoker

The ups
The downs
The reasons I smoke
The reasons I should stop
The reasons I want to stop
The excuses I make to not stop

It's going to be candid, it's going to be funny and it's going to be personal.

I promise you that you're going to be able to read every personal feeling I have on this journey, I'm doing it for me, it makes it more of a commitment to "live it out loud" and in the long run, I hope it helps someone, just one other person out there to take the step with me and to make the same commitment.

January 10, 2011 is when it officially starts, that's the first day of the Freedom from Smoking class at St Francis, I hope there are enough that sign up with me to make the class a reality, what do you have to loose?

Want to start the year off with a huge change in your life?

Want to follow me on this journey, or better yet, how about joining me on this one?

I'm going to keep sayin on this one, but I'm going to be living out loud on the new one.........

I was recently reminded of.......

Quite a few things actually, but the one that stands out the most is the relationship I had with my dad the last few years he was alive,

We didn't have the greatest relationship when I was growing up, maybe it was one of those teenage things, maybe it was that he had a full time job and always had a part-time job to make ends meet, or maybe we just didn't get along.

I remember things always had to be "his" way and I can't tell you the number of times as a kid that I heard if you don't like it you can get out, that's pretty close to what I did the day I turned 18, moved out and watched 3 years later as my brother was "tossed" out.

Fast forward 30 years and listen to him yelling that "she's not family so stay the *^%$) out" when we were moving granny to her new digs, read the email telling me that I've been dis-owned, written out of the will, never want's to see me or my family again, read the "annual" Christmas letter explaining that "we don't know what's going on with the kids as they have decided to not include us in their lives any longer"

WTH? I'm sure I was as bull-headed as he was on that point, but I sure don't remember being the one to pretend I was the "mafia" guy and utter the words "you're dead to me"

A couple of grandsons later, granny birthday's later and we get a phone call. "I hear we have 2 great grand children, and your mother would like to see them" WHAT? She would, not you?

Against my better judgment we break down, take the "boys" over to visit for a while and invite them over for Thanksgiving Dinner (the first one in 3 years with the folks)

It turned out to be a "civil" Thanksgiving, we made small talk, listened to him berate my mom for being forgetful (she had the beginning stages of dementia) and got updates on all of his ailments (he loved to talk about them)

We chatted a couple more times after turkey day, never a deep conversation more of idle chit chat on the phone, and we seemed to determine that we could live in the same town and at least be civil to each other.

Just a couple weeks later the call came that the ambulance had taken him to the hospital, he was concious long enough for me to tell him I loved him, and that I was sorry and forgave him for the past 3 years.

Fast forward 5 years.........Do I regret? Hell yes. Have I forgave him? Hell yes. Am I glad that I got to see him and talk to him one last time? Hell yes.

Moral of the story? It was what it was, nothing I could have done to change it, accept it as a learning experience and try not to do it to your own kids, don't write them off, maintain contact, don't cave in, don't shut down, try to co-exist and do what you know in your heart to be the best.

You never know when or what the last thing you say will be.

What the hell was I thinking

Had a great reason to stop, heart attack, stint and grand kids, did I?

Hell no - I'm 12 ft tall and bullet proof, just ask me!

It's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to give up, wish I could go back 33 years and "jethro" myself in the head, looked into the future, realized how much it would cost both in dollars and health.

Why is it that as smokers we tell our kids and anyone that we see that picks up a cigarette that it's the biggest mistake they are making in their lives, but we don't listen to ourselves?

How much have I spent over 33 years on cologne and gum
How much have I spent over 33 years just to satisfly this stupid urge
How much have I spent over 33 years to clean out my car and my clothes
What's the impact on my kids and grand kids

This would have been so much easier if I had said in July of 2007 after my heart attack "this is it" Did I listen to the doctors, the nurses or myself?

I'm not a overly addictive person, but this is one thing that I've decided, or convinced myself that it's ok to keep doing. I know it's harmful, I can feel it every time I climb a set of stairs, walk at a fast pace, cut the grass, pick up around the Ponderosa, play with the grand kids, move furniture or for that matter do anything physical.

Coughing, sniffing, can't catch my breath and sucking wind.

I had a chance 3 years ago, told myself that cutting back to 2 packs a day was a good thing, I burn most of them up in the ashtray or any excuse to tell myself that it's ok to smoke.

That's one of the things us smokers do, we tell ourselves we love it, we need it, we will go out of our way to smoke outdoors just to combat the smoking ban, we'll cuss the non smokers under our breath for taking away our rights all the while coughing and wheezing just to make a point.

Does it make sense? NO
Does it look glamorous? NO
Do we really enjoy it? NO
Do we want to stop? YES
Is it easy? NO

So, if you see a smoker out there that tells you they enjoy smoking, they like the taste of a cigarette or it's not hurting anyone but themselves, you have my permission to pull out your BS card.

I've taken the first step, it's the next step that's the most difficult.

Am I doing it for anyone? I should be, but mostly I'm doing it for myself........this is the one time I'm not a team player...................

I'm just askin

what if you had a do over with only 2 minutes, what would you say?

we all have things we wish we hadn't said,
what about the things we never say....

Take 2 minutes, I dare you

23 / 6 / 5

What do they mean?

For some unknown reason (and I try not to think to much about it) December 13th pops up in my life a few times.

1987 / My Grandfather passed away
2004 / My first grandson was born
2005 / My father passed away

All of them have memories, they bring back memories of good times, bad times, times I wish I could erase from my memories, times I never want to let go of and things I learned.

Last night was Aidan's (aka Indiana Jones) birthday party and once again all the sad that happened on the 13th went out the window -

How cool would it be to go back to enjoying simple things, looking forward to opening presents, not being judged or judging others, a bag that holds your prized possessions (gun, whip, diary), blowing out candles wishing that sonic hedgehog would appear at your party, with the worst part of your life being told you need to take a bite of this or it's time to pack up your presents and go home?

I think I need to find my Lego Harley and learn to play again..............

De-Cluttered

I can see my office once again -
It's amazing how much stuff I collected, well stuff really isn't the word to use here, but in case any kids are reading I'll be nice.

I forgot that the walls started at the floor
I forgot that I had hardwood floors
I found that book I now have 3 copies of
I found over 30 Harley Davidson Hats
I found all those Roll Easy shirts I thought I had lost
I actually have a desk and a credenza, knew I did just didn't know where they were
I now have a great collection of 3 calculators, 5 boxes of paper clips and 2 staplers
My humidor is out in the open now
I actually have room to roll my chair around now

Wonder what I'll find in my closet tomorrow?

Christmas Memories

13 days until the fat man arrives...........

what traditions do you remember from your childhood?
what traditions have you carried on to your families from your childhood?
what stands out in your memories from Christmas as a child?

I'll start.........

getting a rifle that shot plastic bullets and shooting the glass ornaments off the tree with my grandfather
all of the family members coming over on Christmas Eve to unwrap the presents
looking at lights all over town
Christmas Eve services at Bethany
little kids that were in the Christmas Eve program
snacks, candy, pecans, walnuts, almonds, cookies
snow
new sleds
breakfast rolls in the morning
stockings on Christmas morning
dancing in the garage

Some of these have become "new" traditions and some have gone by the wayside

Are you ever really too old to have a Christmas stocking?

Back on track

Have you ever put a penny on the railroad tracks to see if it would either

Flatten the penny
Make the train jump the tracks

There was a set of tracks just a couple blocks away from the house I grew up in and every time we would either walk to the store or to the swimming pool we would put a few pennies on the tracks to see just how flat they would get.

Trains would come down the tracks, we could hear the whistle blowing as it crossed 31st street but we never found any of the pennies. It never stopped us from putting new ones down on the next trip.

Is there a moral to this story? But of course there is.........

If we hadn't put all those damn pennies on the tracks we would have somewhere around $6.38 right now
We're lucky we never found those pennies since it's illegal to deface US Currency, and everyone knows how law abiding I am
We never stopped trying with those pennies, we never gave up, we hoped for the outcome we wanted, it never came about but we NEVER GAVE UP

You don't always get the results you want or expected, but if you give up, you will never get the results you expected. and if you never try..........well, we know the results you'll get from that one.

What if...

I've been thinking (hold the comments)

What if there was a demonstration and no one showed up?

This Sunday a group of individuals have vowed to protest in Goddard and Marion at various Churches.

They've also said they will be doing the same thing to various schools in Goddard and Mulvane on Tuesday the 14th.

I'm wondering what if we all agreed to start a movement to "STAY AWAY"

Let them have their protest, it's one of the freedoms that is guaranteed to us as United States Citizens, but don't buy in, don't show up, don't form a human wall, let the police in the town's and the members of the schools or churches handle it.

I would suggest that even church members and school students and staff stay away from the protesters or take it to the level of welcoming them to their Church, offer them coffee, offer the kid's in the protest group hot coco, give them donuts.

Why stoop to their level, why feed the media, why give them a forum for their protest and why get worked up over it?

I'd love to start a petition that says.

I _____________ promise that I will not attend any protests that involve the members of that "un-spoken" group from Topeka, Kansas.
I _____________ will honor our fallen soldiers by offering and showing them the respect that they earned fighting for my freedom
I _____________ will honor and show my gratitude to those currently serving in the Armed Forces for protecting and fighting for my freedom

I'm not suggesting that the ALR / PGR / VFW Organizations or members NOT attend the funerals of a fallen soldier, but I am suggesting that we make it about the soldier and his family and not the protesters.

Imagine what could happen............

The road to recovery

Seven days I hope I never have to see again.

Most of you know I've / We've been pretty involved over the past week with this "kid" and without going into more detail you know what this kid means to us.

Safe to say, It's been a pretty wild ride the past 7 days.

7 days that have included

OMG
WTF
WTH
What do we do
What can I do
How can I help
I'm here for you

It started all over again today at 3 pm but this time it went something like this I love you, and we'll be there for you, we're praying for you and we'll help you make it through this.

The road to recovery isn't going to be one of those fast rides, it's going to be filled with twists, turns, curves, hills, slides, getting stuck, running out of gas, flat tires and pot holes.

But in the end, it's going to be one hell of a ride and a journey that will lead to one hell of a life.

You have quite a few that are behind the scenes making sure you stay on track, praying for you, thinking about you and pulling for you and all the others in the same situation.

So make us proud one more time and we'll see you after this journey is complete.

The view from my soapbox

Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I don't believe

I believe in freedom of speech, but I don't agree with everything that is said
I believe in the right to bear arms, but I don't believe everyone should have that right to a firearm
I believe that we have the best judicial system on the planet, even when I don't agree with it
I believe we have the right to protest, I just don't agree with certain methods of protests or "demonstrations"
I believe that we have the right to worship how we choose but I don't agree with every one of the choices

Have you ever second guessed, wondered to yourself or wondered out loud whether the choices you make or the beliefs you have are worth standing up for?

It amazes me that a group of individuals will protest against the one thing that continues to secure their right to protest. We have men, women and kids making the ultimate sacrifice to give them the right to protest against them.

Does it make any sense? I'd love to have them go to some third world country, bust out their signs, sing their songs and spew their hatred and still receive the same treatment that they receive in the United States.

Do I believe or agree with everything that is protested, said or even written? HELL NO!

But, if we take away one persons freedom to express themselves, aren't we eliminating our own freedom to express ourselves.

Get Ready Marion and Goddard.

So today was another day of fielding phone calls, answering emails, posting on facebook, responding to facebook messages and finishing up with a post on a website saying that they're coming to Goddard and Marion.

Do you not have anything better to do than use your time to protest churches, civic centers and community buildings?

It's my turn to Thank God that we have men and women that are willing to give their lives so that you can have the freedom to voice, show and profess your beliefs, False as they may be.

We'll see you Sunday. I believe I will ask, strike that, I will DEMAND that we have a full contingent of security on December 12th.

Where and when does the justice begin for the "innocent" citizens?

JS'n

Do you have 12 mintues?

Not that it's going to take that long, but,

Sometimes I think or maybe it's wonder if,

I've accomplished all that I can
I've accomplished all that I should
I've accomplished all that I want
I've accomplished all that I could

And sometimes, yes sometimes, I'm accomplishing all that I've determined or maybe told myself that I can.

Have you ever wondered

Is this it?
Is this all I can be?
Is this all I want to be?
Is this as good as it gets?
Is this really all that I want?

I have. I will. And I'm sure it's not.

I looked at my life today is it where I want it to be, or maybe it's not where I thought it would be.

I have cheerleaders that I hear but fail to listen to, I have dreams that I want, but don't act on, I have beliefs that I once held close but have pushed them away and I have feelings that I'm just beginning to understand and accept.

Take the time to think about what it is, where you want to be, what you want to accomplish and what you want to be remembered for. Are you really doing all you can?

Today I was reminded that the reason I care so deeply, want to make everything right with the world and accept everyone's burdens was because of my grandmother. She wanted the best of everything for everyone around her, she would drop everything to help out everyone whether they were a complete stranger or her closest friend.

Is it in my blood, was it learned or did it just happen?

Can you really do too much to help someone, are you willing to or maybe it's, are you ready to help anyone regardless of their ties to you and are you ready to sacrifice your well being to make a difference?

In my case, I'm struggling with it but willing to accept the risks.

What have we learned here?

The past few days have been, um what's the word I'm looking for here, um it starts with a "C", yea that's it, a beehive of activity.

Along with the normal work (that would indicate that I do anything normal) I've been trying to help a buddy out. Sometimes I think I missed my calling and should have gone ahead and pursued my career choice when I was 18, but I digress, that's for another time........

Wednesday morning I found out a good buddy of mine had gotten into some trouble and me being the guy that just has to get involved decided someone needed to help this kid out. It started with a few calls and text's to other friends, moved to a conversation with another biker buddy attorney friend and ended with a blog telling who this kid really is.

Thursday started with phone calls a couple meetings with my attorney friend and another biker buddy, meeting another friend to have a nice exchange of thoughts, ideas, tell me why I do this, is there a down side to the tremendous up side and questions of am I doing the right thing here or not. The afternoon included sitting in a court room, watching a video monitor and wondering what the hell was going though this kids mind, does he know how many people care about him at this exact moment, and how can he get the help he needs sitting inside a building isolated from the support that is warranted, needed and that he should have received.

Sidebar; $500,000.00 doesn't make sense I begin to say first to myself, then to my attorney friend and just about anyone that would listen, I'm irritated, I'm mad, I'm pissed! Then it Jethro's me, right in the back of the head, then fingers hitting me in the forehead............focus!

It's not that they're trying to set a example, they're wanting to make sure that this kid get's the help that he needs.

I'm a bit more rational when Friday morning arrives, a letter has been written to this kid, when will he be able to see it? It's written from a "pop's" point of view, let him know he's in a pickle, let him know he has a huge support group out there, let him know he's going to receive the help he needs, and let him know that we're here for him no matter what, end it with the words "we love you"

Another meeting with biker buddies, and we have a plan..............3 pm, that plan changes when they decide to throw a monkey wrench in the mix, add another charge, keep the bond at the same amount but add a stipulation..........

They're still concerned about his welfare on the outside, "we just want to make sure he receives the help he needs", is overheard in the hallway.

The media is in a frenzy, they can't report about this enough, I wonder how much of what the media is putting out there is 1/2 truths, how much sensationalism can they add, what's with the faces that they make before the story is broadcast (is there a school for that?) it's done exactly what doesn't need to be done, giving publicity to a group that should remain nameless, and how do they find out things so quickly from the court house (who calls them, where's the leak, what do they think they will or hope to accomplish by making calls to the media, but that's yet another blog)

But at the same time, it's generated interest from a large group of individuals, Military Guys, families of Military Guys, concerned and proud Americans, the average "joe" on the street, a Senator, a guy from down south, a Soldier from Ft. Brag and countless others that ask the same question "What can I do to help"

This kid had no clue that there was this much activity going on behind the scenes, he had no idea so many people were concerned about him, he had no clue that 2 funds have been set up to help with his defense and bond.....I'm off track here, but for me that's not a surprise is it? Sometimes my thoughts come faster then I'm able to type them here, even at my 78 WPM, so I'll get back to the "rest of the story"

Last night the phone rings, will you accept the collect charges? Hell yes we will! 10 minutes is all that's allowed, no questions of who, what, when, where or why, just how are you doing, are you holding up, don't worry about "that" right now, yes we will, let's get through the next few days, we'll see you Monday, we're working on the outside to get you out of the inside, the main thing is to get you back on track. "you have 15 seconds" is the computer voice on the phone, "we love you", "I love you guys too" are the last words before that well known "click" is heard.

There are so many rumors out there right now, and a good friend helped me realize that being so closely involved feeds my need and my desire to keep those to a minimum but my "media feeding network" is not large enough to take care of that, so just know that you're able to know in your heart what is real and what is fabricated.

This is a week that I've learned.......I like being a fixer, and sometimes, yes sometimes..........the fixer is the one being fixed while he's fixing

Ever had one of those days?

One of those days when you wake up and you're already mentally exhausted
One of those days when you hope you're doing the right thing
One of those days when you wonder if you're doing everything that can be done
One of those days when you second guess whether you're making a difference
One of those days when you are thankful for so many friends offer their support
One of those days when you listen to the feedback and take it all in
One of those days when you wish you could go back just a couple of days
One of those days when you sit back, take a breath and realize it just is what it is

Ever had one of those days?

Yea, me either............

I was going to talk about...........

I had a great idea for a blog tonight but something came up that changed all of that today.

A true American Hero and a great friend of mine, the families and a comrade in my VFW Post as well as a kid that call's me Pop's got his 15 minutes of fame today in the media.

Not naming names, it's not necessary, pretty sure everyone knows who I'm talking about by the time you got to the 38th word.

What I want everyone to know is who this kid is, yes I said "kid" (at my age anyone younger than 35 is still just a kid)

This kid is someone that didn't have much of a chance in his teens
This kid is someone that lived with us for over a year
This kid was a best friend of my son's
This kid did a burn out during the Toy Run one year and sprayed rubber all over the bike behind him
This kid had a crotch rocket that he loved to ride hard and sometimes he could even keep up with "Pop's" Harley
This kid decided to join the Army and make a change in his life
This kid went on patrol's in Iraq and Afghanistan
This kid was in a Humvee one day on patrol
This kid lost both his legs in Afghanistan while on patrol
This kid came over one day and showed my oldest grandson his "robot leg"
This kid is 5" shorter now than he was 3 years ago
This kid was one of the first to join the Riders Group
This kid calls Mom and Pop for advice on a regular basis
This kid couldn't wait to get back on a bike
This kid is, well just let it be said that this kid and all those other kid's like him is what we need to be thankful for every night when we lay our heads on the pillow

Now before you start listening to all the news reports and digesting each one of them and accepting them for the "honest to goodness facts" remember this.................

Not everything we hear, read or are told include all the facts. I'm pretty certain we all know someone or something that was reported on by the news media only to find out "someone didn't have all the facts"

What concerns me most right now is;

Why hasn't he called Mom or Pop's
Why hasn't he called my youngest
Why is the bond set so high
Why are there so many rumors swirling around
What was he thinking at the time
Who's going to stand by him through this
Who's going to bail on him
Why in the hell is the news media taking so much pleasure in tearing down another American Hero
When are we as a country going to start taking care of the ones that make the sacrifices for us

I'm praying for you and thinking about you brother, if you can make it out of Afghanistan, I'm certain we can make it through this as well.

How to stay unhappy........

This was just too good not to copy and enhance.

Dale Carnegie once said, “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s what you think about.”

I don’t think anyone could say it any better than that. I’ve watched so many friends search tirelessly for happiness by changing jobs, moving to new cities, pursuing intimate relationships, and tweaking all sorts of other external factors in their lives. And guess what? They’re still unhappy. Because they spend all of their time and money adding positive externals to their lives when their internals are still in the negatives.

So with that in mind, here are 75 ways to stay unhappy forever. Of course, I would highly recommend you read each bullet point and then move swiftly in the opposite direction.

Dwell on things that happened in the past.
Obsess yourself with all the things that might happen in the future.
Complain about problems instead of taking the necessary steps to resolve them.
Fear change and resist it.
Work hard, do your best and then condemn yourself for not achieving perfection.
Belittle yourself.
Hang out with other people who belittle you.
Try to control everything and then worry about the things you can’t control.
Lie to yourself and those around you.
Keep doing the same thing over and over again.
Be lazy and follow the path of least resistance.
Hold onto anger. Never forgive anyone.
Always be right. Never let anyone else be more right than you.
Compare yourself unfavorably to those who you feel are more successful.
Let small issues snowball into big problems.
Never learn anything new.
Never take responsibility for your own actions.
Blame everyone around you.
Don’t ask for directions and don’t ask questions.
Don’t let anyone help you.
Quit when the going gets tough.
Be suspicious. Trust no one.
Get four hours of sleep every night and convince yourself that it’s enough.
Never throw anything way. Even if you don’t use it, hold onto it.
Say “yes” to everyone. Fill all your time with commitments.
Try to be everyone’s friend.
Multitask, multitask, multitask! Do everything at once.
Never spend any time alone.
Don’t help others unless you have to. Do only the things that benefit you directly.
Hang out with people who complain about everything.
Focus on what you don’t want to happen.
Fear the things you don’t fully understand.
Always seek external validation before you consider yourself good enough.
Take everything and everyone in life seriously.
Spend your life working in a career field you aren’t passionate about.
Focus on the problems.
Think about all the things you don’t have.
Read or watch lots of depressing news from broadcast media.
Set lofty goals for yourself and never do anything to achieve them.
Never exercise.
Only eat junk food and fried food.
Never check-up on your health.
Setup your lifestyle so it revolves around money.
Spend more than you earn and rack up lots of financial debt.
Don’t say what you mean. Don’t mean what you say.
Frown.
Never tell anyone how you feel or what you’re thinking.
Make sure everything you do impresses someone else.
Always put your own needs on the back burner.
Get involved in other people problems and make them your own.
Make others feel bad about themselves.
Watch TV for several hours every day.
Gamble often.
Stay in the same place. Don’t travel.
Don’t play, just work.
Let your hobbies go.
Let your close relationships go.
Never finish what you start.
Take everything personally.
Do lots of drugs. Drink lots of alcohol.
Never say, “I’m sorry.” Never say, “I love you.”
Don’t work hard at anything.
Always wait until the last minute.
Believe that, no matter what, you are entitled to things.
Let others make decisions for you.
Remember the insults. Forget the compliments.
Let it all bottle up inside.
Rely on others for everything.
Fail to plan.
Don’t dream.
Don’t think about the future at all.
Always disregard other people’s opinions and suggestions.
Make promises you can’t keep.
Don’t decide on anything, ever.
Just keep going and going and going. And never ever stop.

And now that you know what not to do, let me tell you a secret about happiness. Nobody is happy all of the time. It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Hopefully that gives you something to smile about.

I for one................refuse to choose unhappy

What if?

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)