Good Grief

The grief group that I go to every Monday night had a memorial walk to raise money for their group yesterday and it was just what I needed to get me out of the most recent funk.

It was a pretty special day.  How so you ask?  Well Nic was working overtime with all of us that were there.

• The boys wrote notes (well, we all wrote notes) that were attached to balloons for a launch. 
• It's amazing where their little brains are with the things that the write.
• The launch was overly emotional for me, the way the balloons floated away, the three that got caught in a tree and one by one released themselves and floated away, the pink balloon that Adrianne launched floated up then came to rest on the trail about 100 yards away.  It wouldn't float so she took off the note and floated it in the river (Nic loved the water and I think that's where he wanted to be)
• We stopped at the Troll down by the water department, Adrianne laid down on the grate to do a "facebook" pic and the locket that holds Nic's cremains came off of the chain (tons of tears as we all thought it fell into the water below), but nope, he didn't want to leave her.  Reniece spotted it stuck in a part of the grate where it was rescued by her and Sarah (Nic's girlfriend).  I think it was a reminder that he never left any of us, he just moved on to someplace better.
• We didn't really do the route for the walk, but just wandered around the Keeper of the Plains (who knew that the sign saying "stay off the rocks" really meant stay off the rocks)
• Aidan found a penny on the way back and wished everyone that passed us on the trail a happy belated Cynco De Mio Day. 

How did the day help me out a funk you ask?  The balloon launch, the locket being found, the white bird that flew by, the penny that was found, everyone of these were Nic saying, I'm ok Dad, it's OK to be sad, but it's also OK to be OK with it.

That kid was and still is my life, I miss him more than I can tell you or write, there are no words that can be used to express that, but I know that I'll see him later and I'm OK with that.

Worst part of the day? Coming home last night and seeing that the news media has posted a fatal roll over crash in Valley Center and having grandsons and son in laws in the area.  (Immediate heart stop kicked in all over again taking me back to last May) I wonder how many others have the same feelings when they see that type of a post?