It's been a week...

(Prepare for the ultimate run on sentence)

Ups and downs, memories that have flooded my senses, tears that have flooded my eyes, a visit to his spot that helped add some clarity and remove some anger, conversations that have exposed my feelings, truths that I've told with no hiding no sugar coating and they still listened, conversations that I wanted to have that went unanswered, stalking, trying, fading (not for long) and trying again, trust your gut, try not to assume, smoking like a fiend when I shouldn't be, listening to little kids play so hard that I feel like I got a workout, Happy Birthday being sang for my forever 27 year old son, burgers being grilled, starting fires, watching kids toss leaves just to see a huge flame, listening to songs that bring every memory of him back and some songs that bring other memories back, worrying about his memories living on thru time, anger that his daughter couldn't be here for his birthday, but happy that she remembered and face-timed Vickie to say she remembered and send me a video if you do a balloon launch,

What's next?  No clue..........fading away seems like the right thing, but nothing is ever fixed by distance and replacing, so for now moving forward feels like the best course............Yes it's been a crazy fucking week,