His last Chrismas..

Christmas Eve 2012.

Who would have thought, who could have imagined, it was the furthest thing from any of our minds that this would be the last.

The last Christmas Eve, the last time he would see his daughter unwrap presents, the last time we would all be together laughing, listening and sharing Christmas together. 

I found these pictures on his tablet a couple years ago, pictures he took that night, pictures he never shared with anyone, keeping them for himself I imagine to reflect back on or maybe he knew, maybe he wanted something saved for all of us to look back on and remember. 

Remember the joy, remember the laughs, remember how much he loved and I'm certain still loves and watches over that little girl and those four boys and with certainty I know he's looking down on that 5th little boy that was born just a few weeks after he left us in May.

So I'll look back at these pictures he took, I'll remember, I'll wish I'd told him I loved him more that night and I'll shed a ton of tears thinking back on what is gone and I'll keep taking care of that little girl and sharing as many memories as my "steel trap mind" can remember.